Being Me.

Hello fancy followers! {and if you're not following me, follow me!  It's fun:)}

I wanted to ramble about something that's been on my mind recently.  I've been looking at what makes some of the famous people on YouTube.. famous.  YouTube is such an opener of doors these days; anyone can see you, anyone can notice and like or dislike what you do.  It's kind of scary when I sit down and really think about it.  A homeless man looking for a pretty girl to stare at could watch me on his local library computer or vice verses; some of my favorite YouTubers like Alex Goot or Christina Grimmie could watch me and email me wanting to do a duet with me.  Anyways, it's a double whammy; the good and the bad.  I've been researching what makes these YouTubers so famous.  What makes their videos get over 1,000,000 views each time?  Then I figured it out:

They are themselves.

It's so simple, and yet so complicated!  They don't try and copy what other YouTubers do, they don't act like someone else; they're simply themselves.  They do what THEY as an individual likes to do in videos.  And that makes them stand out.

Back to the title of this blog post.  Throughout my life I've always been uncomfortable with me.  With myself, my personality, my looks; I didn't like me.  When I was 13 I tried to become someone else by taking someone who I considered a role model to me and copied them.  I copied everything they did.  I covered up who I was/am made to be with the desire to become someone else.

God's really been showing me that I'm more than what I told myself I was.  That I am not that person I wanted to be like.  That I'm not just some girl who has nothing to show for herself.  That I am worth something.

So for this past year (2012), I've been searching myself out.  Trying to find the personality that I had hidden from the world so long ago.  Trying to uncover the thoughts  desires, and character that God originated for me and me only.  And the hardest thing through this process is that I constantly have to tell myself that God has a reason for giving me the personality I have.  I get so bugged when I act a certain way and think "well that was dumb.  Everyone must think that was stupid."

But the thing is?  My closest friends love me.  And so does the God who created me.  So why do I need to be different on YouTube just to fit into that world?  If it's God's will I'll be able to show my talent to the world soon enough...but I think He's waiting for me to develop the relationship with Him.  That way He has room to work His crazy ways. :)

Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out there.  Love you guys!

Cari